Public Speaking...

Today was the very last day of my first semester of college. I had my English final today, which consisted of getting up in front of the class and reading something that we had written... and let's just say, I was a WRECK! I have this completely crippling fear of public speaking, and the fact that it was only a small classroom with twenty or so students did NOTHING to calm my nerves. My story won 4th place in the contest so I ended up being one of the first to read, which means that I didn't have time  to totally psych myself out. 

Let's back track slightly. Our final assignment was to write a contest entry. It could be about anything we wanted, as long as it displayed our knowledge of what we had learned throughout the semester. I decided to write a fictional story about finishing the Boston marathon. I grew up in Massachusetts and the horrible event that took place in Boston this year really shook me up. I spent a long time wondering how it must have affected the thousands of people that were there that day. So many people were unable to finish the race that they had spent months (or even years) preparing for, and the ones that were able to finish had a victory that was cut short by tragedy. Then I saw a news article about some runners who wanted to go back to finish the race. I decided that was what I wanted to do: I wanted to finish the race. And that is what I did. My story follows a woman as she runs the last mile of the marathon, and the victory she feels as she crosses the finish line. 

So anyways, as I said before, my entry won 4th place in the contest (Yay!), which meant that I was chosen 2nd to read aloud in front of the class. I had spent the whole day giving myself a pep talk about how it wouldn't be so bad. Just get up there and read, that's all you have to do. But when the teacher called my name my heart jumped into my throat and I thought I was going to die. Luckily there was a podium for us to stand behind so I was able to hide the violent shaking of my hands, but there was no hiding the nervous tremor in my voice. My chest started constricting and I felt like I needed to gasp for breath, which made reading extremely difficult. I kept thinking to myself, "when is this going to be over?" And then, after what felt like an eternity, it was over. I had managed to get through it unscathed and only slightly humiliated, and with my face feeling like it was on fire I was able to return to my seat. 

So no, public speaking is definitely NOT my thing. 

Ironically (or maybe not, I still don't get the whole ironic thing) I am signed up to take a public speaking class this summer... trust me though when I say that the ONLY reason I am taking it during the summer is because a) it is a required course, and b) the summer class is only 1 day a week for 5 weeks. I would MUCH rather get it over with in just 5 classes, instead of prolonging the torture. 

So yeah, that's something fun to look forward to this summer.... 

~A